I’ll admit it.
The “Hustle Culture” lured me in.
I was hooked on this go all day, work all night, and keep building mentality. “Enough” was a moving target I’d never quite achieve.
It was intoxicating to feel like you’re accomplishing things. Especially when people noticed. The podcast, the children’s books, the blogging all while remaining a top performing sales rep.
The dopamine hits kept coming.
So, I kept hustling.
It’s so obvious now how I became laser-focused on hustle.
I had to build. That’s just what everyone was doing. But, what was I building towards? I didn’t fully know.
So, who better to follow than those that looked like they had it all figured out and success wasn’t only achievable, it was inevitable.
I was caught in the lure of toxic ambition. All because I hadn’t worked through deep down pain of childhood trauma. Of feeling lonely and out of place. Of craving attention from the people I wasn’t getting it from.
The work was neediness in disguise. The drug of choice was status.
I’d like to admit that I’m fully clean. That status isn’t something I need. But, it’s a constant battle that I have to remain diligent to fight.
But, one simple yet difficult question changed the paradigm and has led to a monumental life shift in recent years. Maybe it can help you, too.
“What does success mean for me?”
It seems easy on the surface but old ideas are hard to remove. I grew up thinking success means a great job, a lot of money, a ton of friends. We think success and instantly tie that to movie stars and athletes. We think of those in the limelight. “The one with the most toys wins” is the theme when we turn on our TVs and scroll through our phones.
That’s what I thought too until I spent time sitting with that question.
Putting the emphasis on “for me”. Not for anyone else. But for me.
The answer became clear.
+ Success is creating a lifelong bond with my son through shared experiences, open communication, and respectful boundaries.
+ Success is forming deeper, meaningful relationships. Experiences matter more than numbers.
+ Success is being independent in my career choices.
+ Success is taking control of the decisions to do the work I enjoy.
+ Success is building a body and mind that is youthful well beyond my age.
+ Success is helping people through hard times and seeing them gain the confidence and conviction to live a fulfilling life.
+ Success is being comfortable in my own body and living life my way.
These are not perfect. They are a continual work in progress. They will most likely shift as I grow and evolve.
But, they are mine. They are defined. Which means I now have a roadmap to guide my decisions.
I don’t need to evangelize the hustle culture or get caught up in status or the cool new app or shiny objects distracting me from my goals.
I don’t have to hustle any longer.
It doesn’t mean I won’t.
It just means it’ll be my choice if I do.
just get started,
Brian
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Stunning, Brian. Many people don’t ever work this out.
I feel you. I did the same. Once my sone was born I realized I’d rather experience the first couple years of his life rather than chase small wins in hope of a bigger win. I’ve never been happier and he’s literally the best